when i find stretch marks on my thighs i make a point of smooching them because they’re just doing their best at keeping the all-powerful immortal Being within me from ripping my mortal shell asunder in a blaze of heavenly glory and eviscerating the cosmos in my divine wrath
You know what? You just changed an aspect of myself I’ve hated since ballet class in sixth grade. Thank you!
If you’re protesting abortion, the Supreme Court says you can get right in women’s faces and scream at them on their way into the clinic. Because freedom of speech.
But if you try and protest the murder of a black man, you get tear gas fired at you.
Right so im walking home and I see this guy rolling a cigarette under a streetlamp and when he clicked his lighter THE FUCKING STREETLIGHT WENT OUT
I stopped in my tracks and stared at this guy who looks up at me then to his lighter and hes as surprised as me then he takes his thumb off the trigger and THE STREETLIGHT TURNS BACK ON
HE GAVE THE MOST SURPRISED LOOK OF ANYONE EVER AND THEN SHOUTED “LATER MUGGLES” AND FUCKING RAN OFF
AM I DREAMING